Things I Learned from my Exes: Going for the Story

Things I Learned from my Exes: Going for the Story
by the Dating Diva
September 22, 2000

We all learn through experience. With every date, every relationship, you learn more about what to give your significant others and what to expect from them. This is the third in the "Things I learned from my Exes" series, and it's about how sometimes having fun along the way is more important than getting the worm.

I met Todd in a bar. He lived in a different city. He was in D.C. for a wedding, and his first words to me were: "If I buy you a plane ticket will you come visit me?"

"Definitely," I said as I looked into some of the finest blue eyes I'd ever seen.

I am not usually the kind of girl who jumps at offers from strange men in bars. Especially ones involving offers of extravagant gifts, which enters into a strange quid pro quo, What-Do-I-Owe-Them-Now gray area that the smart dater doesn't want to get into too soon.

But I knew I already liked this guy -- from his great smile to the way he nailed a bank shot (yes, I'd been watching him at the pool table from afar) I could tell this guy had confidence and style.

And he thought the same about me.

I know because he told me. He complimented me constantly. He described in detail the date we were going to have when I visited him. Dinner, a show. We picked a weekend. He introduced me to all his friends and told them about our big date.

And the clincher: he gazed at me with a faraway look and said, "Wow, I think you'd really like my sister. You both have the same excitement about life. I really want you to meet her."

He wanted me to meet his sister! We were destined for each other.

We left together in a cab though we hadn't quite worked out the details of where we were going. Was I dropping him off at his hotel? Was he coming back to my place? Todd said he didn't think we should go home together since it might ruin the mystery before our big date. It began to rain and Todd told the cab driver just to drive around for awhile.

Which is how we ended up making out in the rain in the back of a cab. We did that until we passed the Lincoln Memorial and Todd asked to be let out.

Which is how we ended up making out in the rain on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. We did that until a security guard took issue with it.

Which is how we ended up making out in the rain on my balcony. Mystery be damned.

I'm not going to divulge all the details but suffice it to say that my new friend Todd, mild-mannered gentleman by day, it turns out, is a stallion in the bedroom. We did things I have not done before or since -- blame it on my love at first sight attitude about this guy, or perhaps just that some things are easier to do with a stranger. The whole while he kept up a mantra, telling me about the things (which were now a little sexier than "dinner and a show") we were going to do when I came to Boston to see him.

In the morning, after lying around for a few hours going over the details of the previous night -- the security guard and his "Sir! Sir, please! This is a national monument!" being our favorite line -- I drove him back to his hotel. He got out of the car smiled, said he'd had a great time . . . and walked away.

Now the guys in the audience probably saw this coming from the first drink he bought me. I, on the other hand, was stunned. This was the first I realized he wasn't going to call, that I was no longer getting a ticket to Boston, that his back disappearing into the Hilton would be the last I saw of him.

I started up the car and drove away.

And a second later I began to laugh. I'd had a spectacular night. If I had to choose between having that story but not him and not having that story but retaining the dim prospects of long distance relationship -- I would much rather have the story. Some relationships just come in smaller packages, and the joy they give you can be just as important as that which comes from the longer ones.

I was giddy for weeks.

I've never second guessed myself. Never wished I'd just dropped him off at his hotel and waited for him to invite me on our date. A woman has got to have adventure in her life; it will give her laugh lines and make sure she never gets old.

And men, the moral you may take home is that "I really want you to meet my sister" is probably the best pick up line of all time. . .