|
Things I Learned
From My Father |
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| The reason you are thrown
forward in a car when it stops short is due to Newton's First Law. |
"General consensus"
is redundant. "Flaccid" is pronounced "flaxid." One
feels "nauseated" not "nauseous."The difference between
"illegal" and "unlawful" is that "illegal"
is a sick bird. |
If you walk into a building
or event as if you belong there, people will almost always let you in.
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| Trampoline Syndrome:
Just because you can do something doesn't mean that it's easy. (It's so-named
because once Dad said he was impressed I could do a back flip on the trampoline.
I was sad I couldn't do one on the floor and told him my flip didn't count
because the trampoline was easy. He said that if you think that way then
it turns out you'll never believe that what you accomplish is difficult
or impressive.) |
| The thousand year-old man's
national anthem from his cave days: "Let 'em all go to hell except
Cave 73!" |
A wife who's marriage has
never been consummated should strongly consider the possibility that her
husband is gay. |
When boys tease you, (for
example, by calling you "Razzles" in first grade just because
you have freckles) it means they like you. |
| The "In" clique
is only "In" because you keep calling them that. |
Bat back. Knees bent. Keep
your eye on the ball. Break your wrists after contact. Follow through.
|
To eat a lobster tail, you
slice down the middle of the soft underside, pull back on the sides and
the tail will pop right out. |
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One should never let
themselves be called up on stage. |
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