January 28: Everything I Know in Life I Learned from Fiction

Traveling alone -- which I seem to do a lot of, considering -- always makes me far more discomfitted than I would expect. This is pretty much the sentiment with which I've started most of my travelogues here, so if you've read any of them, you know how this entry goes. It's the one where I'm totally, unnecessarily freaked out. . . up until the point where something happens and I'm not anymore.

So let it begin.

I made the mistake of reading my Japanese Etiquette and Culture book on the plane. I.e. after it was too late to do anything about anything. I have all along been aware that the amount of help and attention I am getting from the researcher I am going to interview is far greater than I am used to -- he's organized everything from where I'm staying to a sight seeing itinerary complete with hard-to-get tickets. I am loving it. It makes all the difference to know someone is going to help you navigate a new country, especially given, well, um, cf my odd travel fears

And yet his generosity is so large that I haven't known how to show him how much I appreciate it. One friend told me I had to be careful with gifts since giving gifts requires a return gift of equal quality. My step-father also pointed out that within that framework, my host was offering a gift in "exchange" for the article I was writing about him. Now that's sticky journalist territory if ever there was any, but since he's not paying me -- or for me -- in any way, I think I am within the journalism ethics guidelines. All of this left me with the basic assumption that -- within what seems to be a fairly rigorous Japanese gift-giving order that includes services as well as goods -- we were exchanging like for like. I brought a couple of copies of Einstein A to Z along too, just so I had something physical to offer as well.

I was gratified to read in my little customs book that I was on target. With one exception. . . gifts pretty much have to be wrapped. Not only have I brought nothing with which to wrap it, but I have this awesome book at home that Catherine gave me on wrapping packages in gorgeous Japanese style with origami animals, and beautiful bows, and fancy fan folds and and and. . . . But like an idiot I left it at home.

Who forgets something of such crucial importance? I mean really! This sent me into a bit of a spiral. Why hadn't I brought any of my origami with me? Why hadn't I brought one of the Japanese books I've made by hand to use as a travel diary? Why hadn't I re-read Shogun, in anticipation of this trip? It's like I just forgot that I have spent a lifetime doing Japanese crafts and romanticizing a nation into kimonos and tea ceremonies. I was just not prepared for this trip at all.

To make it worse, my etiquette book told me that saying the equivalent of bon appetite, "itadakimasu", was de rigueur before eating. I've said the word over and over, tested myself every ten minutes, and I just can't remember it to save my life. I literally have to parse it out with mnemonic devices every time: "Judge Ito, doggy, more in Spanish."

This was just going to be a disaster. Better flip to some more useful phrase, like "I don't understand Japanese."

And, lo! there was a word I knew: "wakarimasen." It means "I don't understand," and the Caucasian hero of Shogun said it all the time while he was learning Japanese. Not for nothing have I read that book 72 times. Just then the stewardess walked down the aisle, saying "o-cha, o-cha." I know that one too -- green tea. I started reciting others in my head: wa (harmony), honto (truth), unagi (eel), maguro (tuna), soba (noodles), hamachi (yellowtail), tempura (well, tempura). . . ok, ok, as usual I'm heavy on the restaurant words, but that's still something. It means I'm not going to have problems eating -- at least not if I can remember that Judge Ito thing.

I am now on the 70 minute train ride from the Osaka airport to Kyoto. I am elated because the woman who sold me my ticket said "domo arigato goziemashta" [thank you] afterwards. And I understood it. And then I said it back.

That one I know not just from Shogun, but from three years of aikido training. The aikido experience means -- bonus! -- I can sit in seiza position for hours, which will come in mighty handy for all those traditional tea ceremonies I'm going to be attending.

But the best news of all is that my host, Yoshi, will be meeting me on the platform in Kyoto, and -- just as always happens on my travels -- all will be ok.